letters on love

Letters on Love #3

This is my third letter, and I feel like with each one, my thoughts have gotten a little more controversial. This post isn’t about anything too crazy, however I am sure people will disagree with me, especially at first glance.

Last week I shared a poll on my Instagram story asking if people agreed or disagreed with a post I had seen. It was shared by the account @/relationshipquotes777. It was a post that listed some things that people were doing wrong in relationships. One of the tips that they shared I really did not agree with. I assumed that most people did agree with their point though, so I wanted to share it here and explain why I feel the way I do. I would also love to hear what you think.

The Post

The Poll

My poll question said “do you agree with this?”.

91% of people voted yes

Several people even slid up and said “oh my god yes I do”, and explained why, assuming that I was on the same side as them.

So, let me share my point of view on this topic, because I feel like it is a very trendy relationship topic to talk about, and clearly I am a bit of an outcast.

You Being Your Priority vs. Your Relationship Being Your Priority Should Be The Same Thing

My relationship with Michael brings me more happiness than anything else in the world. When I started practicing yoga, it added so much value to my life. When I realized I wanted to become an Occupational Therapist, my future became so much more exciting. There are so many aspects of my life that have really fallen into place, and have brought me so much happiness. However, nothing can compare to the amount of joy and love I feel from my relationship with Michael.

I believe that this is overlooked because of the pressure to prioritize yourself and not your relationship.

At the end of the day, I feel like by prioritizing my relationship I am prioritizing myself. Being in a happy place with Michael gives me self confidence, security, support, and happiness that I wouldn’t have if we weren’t consciously making an effort to prioritize our relationship.

If I get injured and cannot do yoga anymore or lose a job that I love, I would be left feeling so upset. Nothing would leaving me feeling nearly as sad and lost as I would feel if I lost Michael though, or if our relationship turned into a relationship with any less love and support.

You Do Not Have to be SINGLE To Grow

I hear this all the time, so I am happy to share my thoughts on this.

You do not have to be single to grow!

To me, the last sentence of this post gives me the same vibe as “I need to work on myself before I can get into a relationship”.

After being in a relationship for seven years, I can tell you that you do not need to be your best-est self in order to be in a happy relationship. I actually think that if you can set up a healthy foundation together, it can be such a happier way to grow and develop, with someone that loves and supports you.

It is always important to remember in a relationship that you have the potential to hurt your partner. That should be the last thing you want to do. This means that you do have to be aware of areas where you could grow and work on those areas. If you don’t, you will end up letting your own tendencies and past experiences ruin the relationship that you are in. However, you do not have to go through this process alone.

If you expect to become your greatest self, then get into a relationship, and then never change, you might want to consider why you feel this way. Michael and I have grown as individuals so much over the past seven years, with each others support. You should want to grow together and always be evolving. There is nothing wrong with that.

My Point

My point in sharing this is to get across that prioritizing your relationship does not mean that you do not care about your job or hobbies or friends. It also doesn’t mean that you are putting your partner’s needs before your own. All it means is that you know that being in a happy, healthy relationship can be the best thing for you, so you are going to do what you need to to put that first.

Also, you do not need to be perfect and have all of the answers to get into a relationship with a strong foundation. You will inevitably grow together, and that will be really beautiful to be able to look back on and see.

Other Letters on Love

The world of relationships is a crazy confusing one, and I feel so blessed to have met Michael at such a young age, and to feel like things have worked out so beautifully. Having two younger sisters, all I want for them is to be happy. I started writing these letters keeping them in mind (because no one wants their older sister texting them dating advice out of the blue). If you would like to check out the first two letters on love that I have posted here you can click here.

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