letters on love

Letters on Love #2

Hello friends, welcome to my second letter on love. In my first letter on love, I wrote about one of my favorite qualities about Michael that I have learned I really value in a partner. I figured I would stick with that theme for now and tell you about another thing that I really appreciate about Michael. If someone asked me what I would look for in a man, this is what I would say.

Because Michael and I love each other a lot, we always want the other to be as happy as they can be. I know this sounds trivial, but I really don’t think that it is. I just don’t think people put as much thought into it as they think they do. In long distance relationships, it is even easier to see this. People making decisions or comments to their partner that take away from their happiness. Whether it is due to FOMO, jealousy, or any other reason, people seem to risk taking away from their partners happiness without even realizing.

Michael has always been so supportive of everything that I do, and I am so grateful for that. The summer after my sophomore year of college, I went on a girls trip to Miami with two of my best friends. We had the best time! We stayed at a beautiful hotel with a great pool. During the day we spent our time on the beach, and at night we went out dancing. There are a lot of people who might try to stop their partner from going on a girls trip to Miami.

What if they meet someone else?

What if they make a bad decision that hurts me?

How am I supposed to sit up and watch them having the time of their life?

I think sometimes we become so worried and insecure about our own concerns that we don’t realize or don’t care about how they are hurting our partner.

Dating someone and falling in love is supposed to add more happiness to your life. If I was not allowed to go on my girls trip to Miami, would it have hurt my happiness? Probably. It would have been a pretty great experience to miss out on.

I am not implying that you cannot set boundaries in a relationship. Sometimes you might not feel comfortable with your partner doing something that could be fun for them. This also means that I am not using this as an excuse to ignore your partners concerns. However, what I am saying is to be aware of how your requests are affecting your partner. Where are your requests coming from? Are you uncomfortable because of your own insecurities or because of an unrealistic fear? Also, where are these concerns coming from?

When you ask something of your partner, make sure that you know that your request has the potential to take away from their happiness. When you do this, you can request that they show you the same care and respect.

This can take time for sure. Me and Michael are very lucky that neither of us felt very jealous or had a lot of insecurities about our relationship going into it before becoming long distance. In any relationship, new or old, try to be open about where your requests are coming from. Then, make sure to hold your partner to that same standard.

There are so many traits about Michael that I have learned to value over the years. To read my first letter on love and what I look for in a partner click here.

314 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *